It's half past midnight and Christmas Day I've finished putting the presents out and come up to bed, tossing and turning and thinking how I will never get past losing you It was our favorite time of year and it's just not the same without you Spend half the year thinking and then planing for a time that you made so special and magical. Must of been hard because losing Dad for kids was hard for us but you did it Mum. You put us before you and each year made it special. Then you carried that on for the boys too and you've instilled unforgettable memories for them. Today I put the turkey in n just the light on, you only did that and never ever me. Was it my mind wondering subconsciously searching for a sign or was it really you? It happens to everyone and I'm trying my hardest in the whoe is me ..... But how can anyone just carry on without it having such a huge impact This life isn't fair and it does hurt I hope the next is everything you deserved Mum I'm trying my best to be able to reach were you've gone Love you Mum